Are you playing the victim, or are you taking 100% responsibility for your life?
That’s a tough question, because most of us think we are being responsible adults even though we may not be.
For example, when I was in the corporate world, deep down inside I really hated my job and knew I was in the wrong career field. But I stayed in it for years mostly because I was afraid of making any changes. But instead of taking responsibility and doing something about it, I stayed in it complaining and blaming others for my plight. And it was easy to justify my lack of power.
Did you notice the three nasty habits I participated in? They were complaining, blaming, and justifying. These habits are held by most people who like to play the victim. Let’s discuss them.
Complaining. When you constantly complain, you are actually attracting more of the very thing you complain about! And complainers never take the actions necessary to make positive change. Bitching and moaning is one of the worst things you can do. And it has a horrible effect on those around you. Do whatever it takes to drop this nasty habit from your life. When you are complaining you are playing the victim.
Blaming. When you forever blame other people for the circumstances in your life, you are by choice playing the role of a victim. In your mind, it’s everybody else’s fault. But blaming just makes you weak and keeps you from doing what must be done. When you blame, you are giving away your power to others, and this keeps you forever stuck. Blamers are helpless victims. It’s no wonder their fears are so great! Stop blaming and start taking action. When you are blaming you are playing the victim.
Justifying. When you justify, you are making excuses for your weakness and passing responsibility on to someone else. Justifying and blaming usually go hand in hand. It’s a form of rationalizing why you are weak. For example, “I’m not starting a business because the economy is bad”. Examining your motives closely, you may be just justifying your own helplessness by excusing yourself from taking action. Stop justifying, and start doing! When you are justifying you are playing the victim.
This was a difficult post. We wanted to be in your face about this because complaining, blaming, and justifying are so self-destructive. The only way to confront these habits is to take 100% responsibility for every aspect of your life. It takes bravery and self-awareness, but it can be done.
Let’s stop playing the victim!
Dan Tredo & Glen Wayne
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